Lying in Therapy: Does It Matter?

People often ask me as a therapist, “What happens when your clients lie about things?” My answer is simple: it's just more information to work with. The reality is that everything a client says—or doesn’t say—is valuable insight. While dishonesty can sometimes create a barrier to deeper therapeutic work, it may also be a defense mechanism or a necessary part of the client’s process at that moment.

Why Do People Struggle with Honesty in Therapy?

Lack of honesty in therapy can indicate a few important things:

1.     Barriers in Relationships
If a client struggles with honesty in therapy, it often reflects difficulties in other relationships as well. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these patterns, helping clients develop healthier communication and break down emotional barriers.

2.     Preconceived Expectations About Therapy
Many people come into therapy with assumptions about how they should speak or what topics are “acceptable.” The truth is, therapy can take many forms. It might be a non-judgmental space to process emotions or a deep psychoanalytic exploration of past experiences. Sometimes, clients feel pressure to “say the right thing” or worry about what their therapist expects. Addressing these concerns openly can help create a more authentic and effective therapy experience.

3.     Fear of Vulnerability
Sharing deep, personal thoughts—even in a safe, confidential space—can feel terrifying. Our thoughts often carry immense power, making us hesitate to speak them aloud. Common fears include:

• “If I say this out loud, does it make it true?”

• “What will people think of me if they knew how I really felt?”

How Therapy Helps Navigate These Challenges

One of the most transformative aspects of therapy is learning to navigate emotional barriers with a professional who understands the complexities of mental health, relationships, and personal growth. Therapy offers the tools and guidance to help clients build self-awareness, improve emotional regulation, and foster healthier relationships—both inside and outside of therapy.

If you’ve ever found yourself holding back in therapy, know that you’re not alone. The process of being open and honest is a journey, and a skilled therapist can help you navigate it in a way that feels safe and empowering.

-Brenton Love, AMFT

(657) 201-9916

Individual and Couples Therapy, brentonlovetherapy.com