Therapy as Personal Development: 3 Ways It Helps You Grow

Many of us think of therapy as something you turn to when there's an issue — a mental health problem, a relationship struggle, trauma that's messing with our lives. And yes, therapy is for that. But therapy is also used for personal development. Most often, therapy does both at the same time, to some degree. Initially there's some kind of issue to triage, and then the work turns more reflective — looking at past negative emotions or beliefs in order to improve the present.

In my personal and professional experience, most of us don't know what's running in the background, impairing and slowing down our lives. Many of us get through our day-to-day without drowning. But what about a world where you're operating at peak? What could you achieve then? This is where therapy as personal development comes in.

3 Ways Therapy Supports Personal Development

There are three specific ways therapy works as personal development.

1. Self-Reflection

Think of sports, gaming, chess — anything competitive. The highest performers go back and watch the replay of themselves, painstakingly examining any detail where they can improve. Win or lose, they see where they were held back and what they need to tweak. Many of us will "win" in life — get through a relationship issue, succeed at something — and that's fine. But what if we took that opportunity to reflect and really put the magnifying glass on ourselves? Even when we get through something, we can almost always still improve. If we treat every experience as a chance to grow — not just the negative ones — we grow continuously instead of only learning from pain. We get better much faster, and it reduces the suffering of negative experiences too. Knowing that we learn from everything reminds us there are lessons in both the negative and the positive. 1% better every day can add up to a life we didn't know was possible.

2. Understanding How Your Childhood Has Shaped You

All of our childhoods have shaped us, in ways that are functional (good) and dysfunctional (bad). It's categorically a beneficial endeavor to go back and understand why we are who we are. Without processing our childhood, we're pulled around on a tether that may or may not serve us anymore. Maybe you perceive the pressure you grew up with as what made you a high performer in adulthood — that might be true, but practically, it was actually you who overcame and adapted to that dynamic. What if you could keep the positive adaptations and lose the anxiety that so often comes with childhood pressure? What if you're unknowingly living a life that's partly someone else's desire for you? Let's figure out what that is, and take away the chains and barriers stopping you from living your life to the fullest.

3. Having a Professional Analyze Your Psyche and Behavior With You

This kind of expert insight is similar to a business mentor or a personal trainer — someone who sees what we personally can't. Someone who has "been there and done that," so to speak. Now, this doesn't mean your therapist has everything figured out, but in the emotional realm, they have the tools and abilities to spot what we're unequipped to see on our own. This is one of the reasons therapists often have their own therapists. As humans, we all have blind spots — stemming from things like childhood, societal biases, and past experiences. An active observer points out what we assume and what we take for granted, giving you a more complete picture of who you are and why you are the way you are. And with that, you have more control over how you want to live — and that feeling, if you haven't felt it yet, is undeniably beautiful.

Brenton Love
Therapy for Men

LMFT: 159509
657-201-9916