How Anxiety Shows Up in Men (And Why We Often Miss It)
Anxiety affects 1 in 5 men, but it often presents differently than it does in women. Instead of showing nervousness, men may express anxiety through anger or aggression, as these emotions are more socially acceptable. Many men also cope by avoiding their feelings, turning to substances, pornography, or toxic relationships.
Anxiety in men is strongly correlated with suicidal thoughts and behaviors, making it crucial to recognize and address.
How Do Men Show Anxiety? What Are the Symptoms?
Restlessness & Overworking – The need to stay constantly busy, always striving for improvement, and being overly hard on yourself. Men with anxiety may struggle to celebrate their achievements, believing that success is simply expected and doesn’t deserve acknowledgment.
Anger & Irritability – Anxiety often builds up and manifests as unexpected outbursts of anger. If you find yourself reacting with more anger than the situation warrants, it may be a sign that your frustration comes from deeper, unresolved stress rather than the immediate issue.
Feeling on Edge – Small inconveniences that wouldn’t typically bother you may start to feel overwhelming, or set you off.
Lack of Emotional Support – Many men do not have strong emotional support systems, leaving them with fewer outlets to express their feelings and release emotional pressure.
What About Social Anxiety?
Men struggling with social anxiety often turn to substances as a coping mechanism. Alcohol or other drugs may provide temporary "social courage," but over time, reliance on substances can create a cycle of avoidance—making it difficult to function in social situations without them.
What About Performance Anxiety?
With the rise of social media and hyper-masculine ideals, men are bombarded with unrealistic expectations about how they should act and perform socially and in intimate relationships.
Pair this with the influence of modern pornography, and many men develop unrealistic self-expectations, leading to disappointment and heightened anxiety as they struggle to "measure up."
What Helps?
Therapy – Addressing the deeper sources of stress can reduce the overall burden of anxiety, preventing overwhelm and burnout.
Talking About It – Suppressing anxiety only makes it worse. Having open conversations and seeking support can be a powerful first step toward relief.
-Brenton Love, AMFT
(657) 201-9916
Therapy for Men, brentonlovetherapy.com