The Simple Way to Defeat Your Deepest Fears.

It may sound like an oxymoron—a simple way to overcome your deepest fears—but hear me out. There are a few truths about fear that we can leverage to disarm even the ones that haunt us most.

1. Fear is almost always worse in your mind.

Think about it: whether it's public speaking or a difficult conversation, how often is the build-up worse than the actual event? Our minds spin worst-case scenarios, but in reality, we're often far more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. Even when something does go wrong, we usually recover much quicker than we imagined.
Once you see this clearly, you realize that fear itself is usually more frightening than the situation you're afraid of. It’s a cliché, sure—but clichés stick around for a reason.

2. Say the fear out loud.

This is key—and harder than it sounds.
The real fear usually isn't something obvious like, “My partner might leave me.” It’s deeper. It's the belief behind the fear, like:
“I’m not good enough for a relationship.”
“People always leave me.”
“I’m unlovable.”

Saying the true fear out loud immediately begins to reduce its power over you. I’ve seen this both in therapy sessions and in my own life. The moment you name the monster, it gets smaller.

3. Once it’s named, it can be faced.

When you understand that your fear is a distorted version of reality—and you know how to name it—then it stops being some shapeless monster. It becomes a challenge you can actually deal with.
You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to face the things that used to control you.

Final Thought:

Fear thrives in silence and shadows. But once you speak it, examine it, and understand it—it shrinks. You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be brave enough to look fear in the eye and say: “I see you. And I’m not running anymore.”

-Brenton Love, AMFT, Therapy for Men

(657) 201-9916

brentonlovetherapy.com